Keep your sanity intact

When you think you’re an imposter

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Do you still think that you’re a fraud?  Are you convinced that security will come in any second and escort you out of the ballroom?

One of the very first blog posts I wrote was about those of us who suffer from the Impostor Syndrome. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a little voice inside your head that asks “Who do you think you are?  You don’t deserve to be here, you haven’t earned this, and the bottom will fall out from you any second now.”

That voice convinces you to keep your head down and not make much of a fuss over yourself.  It disguises itself as “humility.”  I spent my childhood in the South, where one version or another of “Who do you think you are?” is used on people who are trying to move forward with the lives and as a result make the people around them feel inferior.  It’s a socially approved method of maintaining the social order of mediocrity.

I’m not going to get into a gender debate, but I will say that this method is most commonly used on young girls and women.  And I was one of those girls who had to deal with ongoing efforts to make me feel like an impostor.

That Imposter Syndrome kept me from going into full time writing, and it kept me from publishing an e book for months.  But once I learned that internet marketers with a tenuous grasp of language were successfully publishing on Kindle, I knew that I was finally overqualified to do this thing.

You may be suffering from the Imposter Syndrome and not know it.  Symptoms include:

You’re afraid to come right out and admit that you don’t know something.

Your speech and stance are apologetic.  You hang in the door and ask “Sorry, am I bothering you?”  [I’d like to thank the faculty of The University of Mississippi and Middle Tennessee State University for not slapping me every time I asked that.  Your generosity and restraint are very much appreciated.  Thank you for your professionalism.]

When someone else praises your accomplishments you blush and try to brush it off.

You speak in a willowy voice and try to hide in the back.

When you do speak, you try your best to get it over with as soon as possible.

You end your speech with phrases that try to gain consent such as “Right?” or “Do you think?”

You think that people who stand up and speak their mind are “arrogant” or “pushy.”

You can deal with the Impostor Syndrome.  This is a great reason to look into counseling and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  And while you’re considering that, try these at home remedies.

Put your thoughts into 2-3 bullet points before you start to speak.  If you’re an introvert, you’re used to pausing to collect your thoughts.  Organize them so that they’re readily available, even if you blab and the end and don’t know when or how to shut up.  [Not that that’s ever happened to me, of course]

Avoid folding your arms in front of your chest as a protective gesture.  It gives out negative energy to you and your audience.

Speak from the diaphragm.  It will make the volume and the tone of your voice stronger.  You really don’t want to sound like one of the Jackson kids.

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