• fear,  goals,  Health,  Keep your sanity intact,  optimism

    Tools to fight fear #6: Poise

      Poise is really for advanced adventurers, because it develops as a result of previously successfully confronting and defeating a fear. Poise is one of those really cool battle scars you get, and it’s what allows you to summon up more courage as you go further down the road. For me, the definition of poise is “courage that is not controlled or dependent on emotion.” Poise tells me that I’ve seen something like this before and defeated it. Poise is the ability to remain focused and courageous under fire, because you know going in that you have the ability to face the fire. That’s why you’ll rarely hear younger people…

  • fear

    Tools to fight fear #3: Energy

    The third tool that you need to successfully fight fear is energy.  Along with determination and perspective, energy is a tool that you’ll need throughout your confrontation with fear.  And yes, you’ll have to confront your fear; no use trying to tiptoe past it, hoping it doesn’t see you. Before we go any further, let’s look at what “energy” is not.  Being “energetic” is not always being in a heightened state of arousal.  If that were the case, you could call an anxiety attack “being energized.”  Energy is not always up or at the highest point that you can be without exploding.  Did you know that cellulite is untapped energy? …

  • fear,  goals,  Health,  The business,  Your writing career

    Tools to fight fear #2: Perspective

      The second tool that you’ll need in your arsenal to tackle fear is perspective.  We looked earlier at how determination provides a powerful engine for keeping you going past fear.  Today, we’re giving the same treatment to your perspective.  While determination is the fuel that keeps you going, perspective determines how you see every aspect of your situation. “Do I really have what it takes to go trough this?  Do I want to take this thing head on?  Is this really going to be as bad as I’m afraid it will be?”  all of those questions are answered by your perspective.  In the beginning, your perspective really is all…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    Letting change into your life

    So you’ve decided that you want to change your life.  But are you changing it into something realistic?  Are you just gravitating towards something because you think it’s something you “should do?”  Ask yourself some questions to see if you’re building a realistic future for yourself.  Is achieving it within your goal?   If you suddenly decided to become a pro hockey player, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  Physical goals are the ones that come with the most restrictions, while intellectual ones are more attainable.  You may want to run a marathon next year, but will that be possible with your asthma? To determine if it’s doable,…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    Hangover cures from your old job- are you suffering from role residual?

      Image courtesy of Stock Exchange Given the current economic crisis, it’s hard to condemn someone when the need to make money causes them to take on some aspects of their previous role. Many people leverage their full time work experience into a part time job consulting with former colleagues and employers, keeping one foot in the old role at least temporarily. For others, part of leaving the old role means that a certain level of nostalgia crops up for their former role. Nostalgia is a positive feeling of identifying at least partially with some aspects of the old role. Even for those who make a clean break with the…

  • Your writing career

    When others insist on shoving you back towards your non-creative job

    Image courtesy of Stock Exchange. Just like actors entering the stage, the way we first present ourselves when we switch to a new role sets the tone of our performance thereafter. In some cases, the changes are mostly cosmetics and superficial. A former office worker who has gone to work in heels and dress slacks may gleefully switch to jeans and t-shirts after becoming a full time freelance editor. Others are much deeper and reflect new behaviors. A former smoker will start holding pencils or carrots in his hands and will start insisting on going to non smoking bars as a way to support his new lifestyle. We can’t make…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    Having a purpose makes major upheaval bearable

      Image courtesy of Stock Exchange You can find your purpose, from the vacuum period and beyond to the time where you take on a new role, by pursuing activities that express your true self. Even though many of us in the West are convinced that we’re experts in expressing our individualism, the fact is most people have very little idea of their true selves. That’s why it’s so easy—and so dangerous—to try to define ourselves by what we do to make a living. Finding your purpose can be a long, twisting road for some, and for others their true purpose will appear in a blinding flash of insight. Or…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    Are you acting just for action’s sake?

      Image courtesy of Morguefile Yesterday, we looked at a checklist of things to consider when you’re going through your transition.  One of the things to consider was if you’re acting just for action’s sake.  Today I want to look closer at how you can tell if you’re just acting out of a need to take action or if you’re about to do something that will really give you momentum in your transition. Do you feel deep down as if you’re rushing things? Is your gut telling your that you’re going to fast, you don’t know exactly why you’re doing this, or how things are going to help you in…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    A transition checklist

      Image courtesy of Morguefile   While you’re going through your transition, professional or not, even the most disorganized person likes to have a mental checklist to give some sort of sanity to the process. While it’s not exhaustive by any means, here’s a handy checklist you can use while your’re going through an change, even a change in the kind of toilet paper you use in the bathroom.   Take your time.  No change starts with a single decision or action.  So don’t assume you have to run through it as fast as possible.  Just trying to get through with it will make it much harder.  Even the process…

  • Keep your sanity intact

    Rule Number Four of Transitions

    Image courtesy of Clarita.   This week, we looked at how every transition in your life begins with an ending. Today, we’ll build on that idea, looking at how each transition takes that ending and goes to a new beginning. But before you get to the beginning, there’s an empty place in between.   And now we reach Rule Number Four of transitions: There is an ending, a beginning and in between, there is a Neutral Zone.   Neither here nor there   Welcome to what psychologists and sociologist refer to as The Neutral Zone.  The Neutral Zone is a cocooning phase, where you are absolutely NOT where you were earlier,…